Am I There Yet?

When we are moving forward, it can be hard to know how far you have gone, let alone how much far you have left. When I decided to become a coach, I had no idea it wouldn't be another year or so until I had my own coaching company. If someone would have told me that, I probably would have cried.

I am a woman who likes to know things, I like to know when, where, what, why and how. (As mentioned, I am a recovering perfectionist and control freak so it comes with the territory..) But life isn't like that. And to prove it to me, I have had meltdowns just minutes from the finish line.

For example, my Boyfriend and I love to go hiking. Every year, we do this one trail called Cape Scott. It is a 24km hike where we drive all night and then start hiking at 6am, we go the entire day.

We are fortunate enough to know light keepers so they helicopter our food out before hand, which helps A LOT (seriously amazing right?). The first time I did the hike, I was not prepared. I had over packed and I was not used to hiking that far.

My backpack was poorly designed and within a couple hours, (of a 14 hour hike), my bag was digging into my shoulders and tailbone BADLY. It got to the point that every 30 minutes or so, I would have to stop and take the bag off just to rest my body. My shoulders and back were bruised, swollen and I was exhausted.

After hiking for hours, again we stopped. At this point, I laid on the ground and begged my boyfriend.. "How much longer?" He told me he thought it would be another 30 minutes.. 30 MINUTES!!

This felt like a decade to me, after all we had been hiking for 14 hours. I couldn't take it and I started balling. Full on, my life is over, balling. I told him I didn't know how I had gone on so far, I was running on fumes and I didn't know if I had it in me to continue.

I knew in my heart I had to, because the alternative of sleeping in the deep woods overnight didn't appeal to me either. So when he picked up my bag to put it on my shoulders, tears streaming my face, I knew he felt so guilty.

We began what I thought was the end of me and sure enough.. We were standing at the start of the Light Keeper's gravel driveway! Where I had had my meltdown was 5 minutes from their door! When we got there my face was still wet and suddenly I felt like the whole world was lifted from my shoulders. I was laughing, joking and even poking fun at myself for being so dramatic only 5 minutes earlier.

The point is, that sometimes we think we can't go on and we find that we are basically at the finish line.

I think about that hike a lot and it keeps me moving forward to share myself, to be vulnerable and to continue to provide the most support, strength and guidance I can to the women I work with. I have to push my own comfort zones beyond what I believe to be possible, for I can only take you as far as I have gone myself.

So when you feel like you can't go on, remember this and know that with each and every breath, you are bringing closer to you all that you desire. Know that all things you are seeking, are now seeking you too.

Finally, remember that YOU are the light in the tunnel. You can achieve everything you dream of and more, your heart would not long for something it could not achieve.

So keep smiling, keep your head up high and just take one step at a time, after a while all those little steps add up into BIG ones! And don't forget to laugh, and smile big!
The enjoyment is what we all start the journey for.

All my Love and Light, 


Shelby Brown